"Here's Your Sign!"

I was driving home from work one evening when I glanced up at a billboard. Unlike most billboards, this one caught my attention because it was not an advertisement. In big bold white letters stood out a single question: "What if the hard days have a purpose too?" That was it! I looked closely because I expected there to be fine print at the bottom such as an invitation to visit a local church or a nonprofit. There was nothing...just a statement. I wonder how many motorists looked up and considered that question or how many just drove by oblivious to the meaning that can be found in the answer. The question was designed to provoke thought and deep introspection. I find myself drawn to the single question over and over.

First, the question awakens our minds with a jolting assumption. Our difficulties very well may determine a greater design waiting for us in our future. I repeated the question over and over to myself while I waited at the red light, "What if.... the hardships I experience...have a purpose?" Can any good come out of my brokenness? We all ask this question at some point. When we are in the "hard days" we are simply just trying to "hold on" and not lose our grip. We wake up, put our feet on the floor...determine to make that first step of the day. Sometimes, just putting our feet on the floor and making that first step takes all the self-will and determination we can summon from deep within. Remember, it's the little victories like this that will push us past the pain. Next, it's trying to keep our routine to keep us focused...getting a cup of coffee...showing up for work...distracting ourselves from the present pain so we can move forward one inch at a time, one step, one hour, one day...whatever we can do to move forward.

"What if?" That simple question resonated in my heart...and still does, each time I contemplate the billboard question. What if my past pain can transform my future? The fact is that experiencing brokenness alters one's life so dramatically it is difficult to think of how hardship has the potential to make our lives better. Better? Did I say that? Yes...better...somehow...someway...deep in our hearts we can know that things will change.

Our character is never refined in easy, comfortable, and complacent times...I wish that were the case. No, our character is refined in the fires of adversity, pain, betrayal, neglect, hardships, and difficulties. That's just how life works. "The problem with the good things that happen to us is that they Often disguise themselves as awful things"[17] The truth of the matter is that, while broken, we often push on through life with things that will not make us happy...holding on to things too tightly. There is a life truth I have learned. "When life takes something away it’s because its making room for something new." If we plow on holding the same memories and not making room for new ones, we give up too easy with things that may work out well. The difficulty we face is telling the difference precisely which hardships disguise themselves as gifts and which ones just cause us crisis?

Losing your grip simply means becoming unglued. Some may look at it as "checking out mentally" but I'm not talking about a nervous breakdown. I have had multiple difficulties hit me multiple times to the point where I wondered why I was not experiencing a mental breakdown. I have often wondered (and sometimes still do) just how much I can carry without mentally "checking out" from everyday functions in the world. It is truly amazing what our capacity is to persevere under pressure. Looking back, there are times I did not understand how I pushed through difficult if not impossible circumstances...but at the moment we find a wellspring of untapped strength deep inside from which we can draw from. If we were sitting across from one another and having a conversation, I would relate to you how I managed to hold on through dire circumstances so I could manage to push through incapacitating betrayal and hardship. There is no magic formula here, no five-step program.

Often, we are placed in the uncharted emotional territory and we must find our way to safer shores. First, grab hold of routines that will center and stabilize you during this time. Get your mind off the crisis and circumstances so you don't drive yourself emotionally crazy. I grabbed ahold of work. Why? Well, I knew what to expect every day (I was a banker at the time...it’s very routine), so just the act of showing up was my way of pushing through. Then, those daily tasks provided a sense of stability. I knew that I could not lose my grip on my income or career...these were essential to my survival. I had to protect my well-being. Going to work was not easy but the routine of what was familiar served to help me cope in light of facing the unexpected. I was determined to control those areas of my life that I had a choice in. Work was a stabilizing force. I am by no means a workaholic. I value my time and work-life-balance. However, there are seasons where work and career can indeed level on out, give a renewed purpose, and help cope through the hardships. There may be a supportive workplace with people genuinely care from which you can draw strength from...now is the time to leverage those stable relationships.

If your routines center around daily coffee and exercise at the gym...do not discontinue that routine...embrace it! Routines are powerful conduits of healing. Perhaps it is a community or church group which you attend weekly or daily...make yourself go, put your foot forward. You need that stability and purpose. It will be instrumental in beating your broken spirit you are experiencing right now. Every time you "show up" no matter what it is, you are taking control of your circumstances to push through each day. Keeping your grip does not mean letting go of the daily things that make up your life...those simple things of just showing up will make a difference in your short- and long-term stability.