The Uncertainty of the Future

Looking through the blemished lens of brokenness into the uncertainty of the future evokes considerable questions and emotions.

What can I depend upon?

How do I handle uncertainty?

What does my future look like now?

How has loss changed me?

The last question I particularly struggle with. It is not easily answered and takes some remuneration over time to examine the past, present, and the shaping of my future. I can only speak on a personal note, for the lessons we learn greatly vary on an individual level.

I imagine that the first life lesson of how the loss has changed my life is this:

Don't Hold onto anything too tightly.

As I pondered this truth, I am reminded of the method of how monkeys are caught in the jungle. Perhaps you have heard of the method? If not...read on...there is a lesson here we all need to be reminded of:

Farmers and hunters in third-world countries have been capturing monkeys for centuries. If you want to catch a monkey, you must trap it. Here is how: A farmer or hunter will take a gourd, or they'll cut a small hole into a termite mound if they're in Africa. The small hole they cut will be just big enough for the monkey to fit their hand through. Inside the gourd or the jar, they'll put nuts or sweets, something the monkey craves.

Then they wait. Sooner or later a monkey will come by and smell the nuts, and they'll want it. They will put their hand through the hole, grab a fistful of nuts, and then they'll try to pull their hand back out. But they cannot. The hole is small enough to put their empty hand through, but not big enough for a hand clutching a fistful of nuts. They are stuck.

Now, at this point, the monkey should realize, "Hey, I'm stuck, drop the nuts." But they do not. They want the nuts. They do not want to surrender the nuts. So, they pull and pull and pull, refusing to drop the nuts, and the hunter or farmer comes up behind and snatches them.

If they just surrendered what they were holding on to, they could have been free.

But because they refused to surrender, they lost their ultimate freedom.

The truth behind this story is that whatever you hold onto too tightly can entrap you and become your prison. Is it memories of the past pain that you grip so tightly.

in your mind that you cannot break free of? That has become your prison. Sometimes painful events buried deep within can replay in our minds over and over. If we dwell on them it is because we hold them too tightly.

Our inner voice would accuse us of failure... imprisoning us to the past so we cannot live in the present or plan to move forward into the future. Guilt can be good if it motivates us to change our behavior positively...any parent knows this. However, guilt can ensnare us, hold us prisoner and cripple our self-esteem if we fail to forgive ourselves, admit we are not perfect, making mistakes... and move on.

Had the monkey in the story just let go of what he gripped he would be free of entrapment and would never become captive. Easier said than done! We are often capable but crushed. If we hold onto the past... the past will hold onto us...letting go is a process, there are no shortcuts. I find that it's a conscious decision I have to make each day or I can sink into depression for that which I have lost. Living life is living with loss...we cannot go through life without experiencing it. It is what makes us human. Learn to let go daily, it is a practice, it is a repeated decision requiring mental discipline and fortitude. As I write this, I still struggle with it but I am determined not to be that monkey imprisoned by holding onto memories, thoughts, things, careers, relationships. You fill in the blank for yourself.

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